An Unplanned Goodbye

i loved

By Stepán’s Experimental’s (some rights reserved)

I said goodbye to you today.
It was as sweet and bitter as I never imagined.
Tasting your spirit goodbye.
I remembered the flavor of beginning with you.
The way meeting you was like tasting a ghost.
When I met your soul, I wanted to cover myself in it and just lie there.
Blanket myself in its red, paint my body with the pieces of good enough it shed.
I never imagined saying goodbye to you.
Not you.
Not when I learned love was spelled w-o-r-t-h-y in your hands.
Making my soul let you go was like carving out my heart,
Ripping off the scars, 
Sucking clean the flesh beneath of your kisses of soul,
Placing the bleeding lump back in the crater of chest I used to hold you,
And begging it heal.
I said goodbye to you today
In the exhale after I couldn’t keep loving your impression.
I buried the roses in my soul that remind me of you.
I put them in a box and covered them in the remains of what we used to be.
Burning felt wrong, I did love you.
I said goodbye to you in the way we said hello.
That’s how I honor you.
Commemorating the way you used to love me.
The way you taught me love was spelled worthy,
And good enough was made from the cremated remains of a good enough you never found.
In such way, I honor my used-to-love for you.
In such way, I thank the soul that showed me broken can be beautiful before chaos creates destruction that can’t be fixed.
In such way, I bid goodbye to the me I wanted to be, so I could keep loving you.

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